Amidst these trying times, one crucial lesson emerges: the art of prioritizing ourselves. Let's be clear – I'm not advocating for selfishly accumulating resources or treating others poorly. What I'm emphasizing is the insatiable demand this world places on our time. Observing those around us, it becomes evident that numerous individuals are drained by the demands of their daily lives. Mornings kick off with early awakenings, lackluster breakfasts, grueling commutes, and then settling into jobs that carry a certain dissatisfaction. This narrative seems to repeat itself across the board. And let's not even get into into the "remote workers." It's as though we're witnessing the resurgence of a less-than-enthusiastic workforce, where tasks are completed but genuine fervor remains elusive. Still, it's an improvement over those who must spend a significant portion of their day away from the very homes they diligently maintain.
As daylight fades, we transition into a relentless routine of battling evening traffic, preparing meals, tending to children, and addressing personal tasks. All this while attempting to reestablish a sense of equilibrium at home after enduring eight long hours elsewhere. From cleaning to home repairs, the constant motion and the myriad of distractions keep us perpetually engaged. Rarely do we manage to find the substantial time needed to focus solely on ourselves, to dedicate ourselves to our needs for an extended period. So, here I am, stressing the importance of incorporating an element of selfishness into our days – a substantial 60 to 120 minutes. I acknowledge that external circumstances continue to unfold, but that's the eternal backdrop. Within these moments, for the sake of our mental and spiritual clarity, it's absolutely imperative that we carve out this daily interlude for personal rejuvenation.
This reserved time could be devoted to a refreshing steamy shower, deep-breathing exercises, meditation, prayer, a calming massage, or even immersing ourselves in nature. These elements are often underrated in terms of their true significance. Embracing selfishness means not only ensuring the availability of this time but also taking active measures to safeguard it.
Sitting here, taking in the sprawling skyline of São Paulo, I am struck by the perpetual movement of the world. Each car carries someone, moving them towards their destinations – work, stores, daycare, and back home. So much energy expended to reach the next stop and the one after that. But amidst this ceaseless motion, how many have forgotten the tranquility of stillness?
Before I continue, I want to ensure clarity – I might be delving into over-analysis, and perhaps you haven't given this concept the full consideration it deserves. Regardless, my plea is simple – embrace self-care and dedicate time selfishly each day. Elevate it to the same level of importance as other aspects of life, such as our relationships with family and friends. I won't resort to using clichés about love and understanding. It's not about them grasping or approving your decision to prioritize yourself over errands or trivial conversations. This is your journey. This is about you, and it's all about you.
The value of self-love is quantified by the moments we spend alone with ourselves. Now, let's address the apparent rise in depression, sadness, and unhappiness. I will continue to assert that these emotions might stem from our surroundings, a lack of creative outlets or passions replaced by a diminished outlook on reality. This often leaves us experiencing genuine happiness only when we're reclining on the couch, indulging in food while watching Netflix. I can relate to this. Some might argue that people eat to live, but there are those who live to eat. This intertwines with the psychology of food – during bitter moments, we turn to food for solace. This perhaps explains why a substantial number of women in the United States, particularly among the beautiful Black women, tend to fall on the heavier side. Understand that this is not a form of reproach; it's an acknowledgment of how the seemingly minor oversight of not prioritizing self-care each day can lead to significant consequences for our physical and mental well-being.
In the grand scheme of things, we hold the key. We wield the power. Many of us have accepted the concept of selflessness as a badge of honor, but we must question whether this stance truly serves our well-being. The label "strong black women" warrants scrutiny – it carries the connotation of constant strength and selflessness. While historical context plays a role, it's crucial to contemplate whether the ongoing struggle between selflessness and self-care is worthwhile.
Perhaps I've ventured into tangential territory, yet in my eyes, everything coalesces. Thus, I maintain with unwavering conviction that the love we possess for ourselves finds its quantification in the moments of solitude we gift ourselves. At least, that's how I perceive it – and I stand by this perspective wholeheartedly.
Peace, ya'll.
Illustration by Tess Armstrong.